OKLAHOMA CITY – A man in Oklahoma City said he was attacked for his bologna and cheese sandwich. Police say 24-year-old Roger Hamilton told them he was sitting on a bus station bench Wednesday, about to put mayonnaise on his sandwich, when another man began staring at him.

Hamilton told police that the man then punched him in the mouth and grabbed his sandwich and left.

Police said Hamilton has a swollen lip and his face was covered in blood. The police report listed the value of the sandwich at 76 cents.

Police have not found the attacker.

So the moral of the story? Don’t use mayonnaise in public places, especially on your sandwiches

Source: ELN: Top News Story

That’s right, Jones’ Good Ass BBQ and Foot Massage. Classic. Give him a call 708-224-6101

Apparently Toby Jones’ has a website too: www.jonesgoodassbbqandfootmassage.com

The new Schick Quattro TrimStyle For Women. Trim Style. Nice. Hehe.

Did you catch what’s so funny about this commercial? Watch again and pay close attention to the various hedges and bushes as the women walk by them.

*snicker*

It’s Amazing that this TV commercial made it past the sensors. I don’t mind, however I wonder how long it will remain on TV? Funny as hell though…

Just encase the video gets pulled from YouTube, here are some of the warning messages that hackers put on the signs:

• Zombies in area – Run
• The end is near!!
• Caution, Zombies ahead

This is totally geektastic! I love it.

All I can think about is how perfect this hack would be to pull off around Halloween time, but then again, Zombies could attack at any time

The best part of this commercial is all the side effects from drinking tequila. Here are a couple of my favorites from this video:

• Loss of clothing, money and virginity
• The consumption of alcohol is a major factor of dancing like a retard
• May cause you to tell your friends you are in love them over and over again

I’ve personally experienced friends of mine who can’t handle tequila with the above side effects. Classic! Yay tequila!!

For those who haven’t seen it, here is Apple’s 1984 “Big Brother” Macintosh Commercial:

Enjoy while you can as I’m sure YouTube will pull down the parody video any day now.

As an added bonus, for only 99 cents ($0.99 USD) you can download the MP3.

So who is John Williams some people might be thinking…

John Williams (born February 8, 1932) is an American composer, conductor and pianist. In a career that spans six decades, Williams has composed many of the most famous film scores in history, including all but one of Steven Spielberg’s feature films, Star Wars, Superman, Jaws, E.T., Born on the Fourth of July, Harry Potter, and more.

Below are the full lyrics to this a Capella master piece:

[Close Encounters of the Droid Kind]
You must use the force (repeat ad nauseum)

[Raiders of the Lost Wookiee]
Long time ago, far far away (repeat)

Kiss a wookie, kick a droid
Fly the falcon through an asteroid
Till the princess is annoyed
This is spaceships, it’s monsters, it’s Star Wars, we love it!

Come and help me, Obi Wan
X-wing fighter and a blaster gun
Dance with Ewoks, oh what fun!
This is spaceships, it’s monsters, it’s Star Wars, we love it!

[Super Han]
Get in there you big, furry oaf
I couldn’t care less what you smell
I take orders from only me
Maybe you’d like it back in your cell
Your Highness, your worshipfulness, your highness, your worshipfulness

No one cares if you upset a droid
(nobody cares if you upset a droid)
That’s because droids don’t tear your arms out of socket.
(nobody cares)
I suggest a new strategy: let the Wookie win
That’s because nobody cares if you upset a droid.

[ET the DiscoTerrestrial]
Now we listen to Luke whining:
One more season… One more season… One more season… One more season…

I was gonna go to Tashi Station for power converters
Now I guess I’m going nowhere.
It just isn’t fair.

[Jaws: the Wookiee]
Wooookie (repeat)

Someone move this walking carpet (repeat)

Kiss your brother, Kiss your brother (repeat)

Princess Leia
Well I guess you don’t know anything about women.

Who’s your daddy? (repeat)

[Jurassic Darth]
Luke, I’m your father
(That’s not true!)
It is useless to resist
(My hand!)
Come with me my son, We will rule
(I’ll never join you!)
Search your feelings it is true

So you have a twin sister
Who Obi Wan was wise to hide
(Is that Leia?)
If you will not turn
Then perhaps she will
Give in to your hate
You are mine

Long Long Long Time ago… Far Far Far Far Away

Long Long Long Time Ago, Far Far Far Away (repeat)

Kiss a wookie
Kick a droid
Fly the falcon
Through an asteroid
Till the princess is annoyed
(She’s annoyed!)
This is spaceships, it’s monsters, it’s Star Wars, we love it, it’s true

Episode 3
Coming to you
In 2005

So Let’s go
(go go go to the movies)
Stand in line
(buy buy buy me some popcorn)
Cause it’s al-
(please I’d like extra butter)
most the time
(Join the dark side…)
May the Force be with you all

John Williams is the man

The bass solo at 1:24 is awesome. One of my favorite lines in the song:

He is like a Mountie, he always gets his man and he’ll zap you anyway he can. Zap!

You can find out more about this group at www.jesusismyfriend.info